Face Down ON HOLD
by kttykiwi
Summary: What if Harry & Ron never rescued Hermione from the Troll? What if they continued to make fun of her and left her alone? What would her life be like then? Eventual HHr AU plot from memory. R&R Will be continued eventually
1. The Troll and the Bookworm

**Face Down  
**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Harry Potter or anything associated with it, J.K. Rowling does.

**AU Harry Potter. Written completely from memory.**

**Summary: **_What if Harry and Ron never saved Hermione from the Troll in first year? Never became her friend and instead continued to make fun of her? What would happen then?_

**Year 1-- The Troll and the Bookworm**

* * *

_"Hey Girl you know you drive me crazy_

_One look puts the rhythm in my hand_

_Still I'll never understand why you hang around_

_I see what's going down"_

_--Red Jumpsuit Apparatus_

* * *

What had she ever done to those horrible boys? She was just trying to help him get the spell right! Not that it mattered too much anyways, in the end they would use her for her smarts and then discard her afterwards, just like always.

'_How can people be so petty? Just because I study to do well on tests, they all think I'm a stuck up know-it-all. It's not as if I don't WANT to make friends and play instead, but every time I try, all they do is make fun of me anyways.'_

Sighing gently and wiping her eyes free of the tears gathered there Hermione Granger, a first year student at Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry, leaned further against the cold wall of the bathroom stall she had hidden in all day.

'_Tomorrow. Tomorrow will be better, and someone will finally realize I'm not that bad and maybe then I'll have a friend.'_ a snort of disbelief escaped her at the thought, even as a faint sound from the hall caught her ears.

'_Great, now everyone will know that I'm a big crybaby.'_ Sighing again, she waited for the other person to leave, but as time passed and a foul smell began to permeate the air, Hermione wondered if perhaps something bad may be happening.

'_Ok, don't panic. Just lean down a bit and look out under the door. Whoever's out there can't be too bad, this is the girl's loo after all.'_ Quietly getting down to the floor so that she could get a good glimpse, the young Gryffindor had to stifle a squeak as she spotted a very large and very ugly creature blocking the exit.

_'Oh my god! Is that a troll? What's it doing in here? Please don't let it see me!' _As that last thought processed she quickly curled up next to the wall furthest from the brute hoping that the teacher's would come quickly and take care of it. _'Just please don't let it see me.'_

A loud grunt and the sound of splintering wood and cracking tiles made her whimper loudly, a small scream escaping in her fear. Though Troll's may be stupid, they can still hear fairly well, and that scream- short as it was- was all it took for it to realize that someone was there.

* * *

Later, as she sat mending in the Hospital wing, Hermione would wonder how it was she had managed to survive being beaten about by a Fully grown Mountain Troll, especially when the last thing she had seen was its club raised to squash her like a bug. At that point she had been horribly beaten and barely able to move from the intense pain she felt, the Troll having tossed her about like a rag doll for several minutes already.

It had taken a week for her to wake up after that, and it would be another before she was well enough to leave. Madam Pomfrey, the school nurse, had refused to answer her questions about the Troll and her injuries at first, saying that she needed to rest. It wasn't until the night before she was to be released that she was answered at all.

"Dear child, If the teacher's hadn't of entered when they did, well, you would not be here now." That answer left her depressed for the next several days.

The first class she had after returning, was unfortunately one of the worst for her. Double Potions with the Slytherins. Apparently nearly being killed by a Troll you didn't know was there was reason enough to be ridiculed for a solid two hours in the eyes of her Potion's Professor. The one and only time she said anything back he gave her two weeks of detention and took 150 points from Gryffindor, " for your incompetence and cheek!"

That class she had single handedly managed to put Gryffindor into the negative, Snape taking points from her for everything. After that not a single one of her house mates would look at her except to glare, even after she managed to gain 50 of those points back by the end of the day.

* * *

Life quickly went back to a semblance of normal, though the occasional nightmare about Trolls in the Girls Loo did have her sleeping less. She studied constantly, got good, grades, did her best to make friends, and still was either ignored or made fun of.

Christmas quickly came and went just like always, and just like always she would tell herself that _'Tomorrow will be better.'_ It wasn't really, not when the only people who noticed you existed thought you beneath them.

The rest of Gryffindor house either ignored her completely except for an occasional glare, or hated her outright and would play horrible jokes and be as mean as they could. She had even started sleeping next to the fire at night because her roommates would lock her out of the dorm or steal her blankets and hide them, leaving her freezing in the winter air.

The other houses dislike of her came as a surprise, Ravenclaw house being torn between jealousy and indifference. Many of the Ravenclaws, especially in the older years were jealous of her intelligence and the fact that she was in Gryffindor, while the rest simply didn't care who she was or what happened to her.

The Hufflepuffs were a bit harder to figure out than the Ravenclaws, as they were a bit more mixed in their actions towards her. Many of the elder Hufflepuffs ignored her as they didn't bother with the younger years, some were jealous of her grades and that the teachers generally liked her, and others were simply mean to be mean.

The Slytherins however all had the same reaction, they hated her because she was a 'mud blood'. The worst of her tormentors were a group of third years led by Marcus Flint, a chaser for the Slytherin Quidditch team, and her own personal bully. Though all the Slytherins would play mean jokes on her and torment her when they got the chance, Flint and his cronies made it their mission.

* * *

Everyday she would wake up and force a smile on her face with the thought _'Today they will like me.'_ She would continue to smile through the taunt's and jeers thrown at her, the thought _'If I just smile, eventually they will stop'_ echoing in her skull. She would still smile, straining not to cry every time a room would empty because she had entered, the thought _'There's always next time'_ a dull whisper in her heart. And she would still smile even as she hid her tears in the dark of the night, the thought 'Tomorrow will be better' a solid presence against the pain in her heart. 

Everyday it was the same thoughts, the same smiles, and the same pain. Everyday her smiles would grow just that much smaller, her eyes that much dimmer, and everyday she would hope that 'Tomorrow' would come soon.

The end of the year came quickly and without much change in the way she was treated, though she had been beaten up several times by Flint in the last month as he got more vicious with her. Soon all the students would be heading home on the Hogwarts Express until the summers end. Hermione wasn't quite sure if she wanted to come back, but pushed those thoughts aside as she watched everyone celebrate the house cup. The Slytherins winning still being blamed on her by the Gryffindors of all years.

It wasn't until Professor Dumbledore gave out last minute points to Harry Potter and his two friends, Ron Weasley and Neville Longbottom, that Gryffindor managed to go from Last place all the way to first. They had won the Gryffindors the house cup for the first time in years, making them the house heroes. Smiling like always she watched with dull eyes, and suddenly a spark of hope flared in her chest.

If Gryffindor house could go from last place to winning the cup so easily, then surely she would be able to make friends at some point. She just had to keep trying and never lose hope.

_'Tomorrow will be a better day, and someday I won't be alone.'_

* * *

_  
AN: So how did you like the first chapter? It's only an idea I got while listening to the song and reading HP Fanfiction. I'm going to do a chapter for every year and already have up to half of chapter 3 written out on paper. I've also got at least 2 other story ideas I've been brainstorming for the last little while. Those are much less developed though._

_Please Review _


	2. Mudblood Mudblood Dirty Dirty Mudblood

**FACE DOWN  
**  
**Disclaimer: **_I don't own Harry Potter or anything associated with it, J.K. Rowling does. _

AU Harry Potter. Written completely from memory.

**Summary: **_What if Harry and Ron never saved Hermione from the Troll in first year? Never became her friend and instead continued to make fun of her? What would happen then?_

**Year 2**- Mudblood, Mudblood, Dirty, Dirty, Mudblood

* * *

"_Cover up with makeup in the mirror_

_Tell yourself it's never going to happen again_

_You cry alone and then he swears he loves you"_

_--Red Jumpsuit Apparatus  
_

* * *

Summer had been ok, if not slightly more boring than school. Having been left to her own devices a good portion of each day Hermione spent her time doing homework and reading, completing everything before the end of her first week home. After the second week, in which she had just slept most of each day, she was told in no uncertain terms by her parents to get out of the house and "do something productive".

That next day she had found herself woken by her mother and told to get dressed for the day. Once dressed, showered and fed she was given a backpack filled with a notebook and pen, 20pounds, a water bottle and some lunch.

"Get out and explore the neighborhood, we don't expect to see you back here before dinner." and with that her parents had locked her out of the house and left for work.

Hermione spent the next week just aimlessly walking around her neighborhood, exploring the different areas and sometimes stopping to draw or write about something she had seen. It came to be that she enjoyed the time she spent doing this, and would gleefully leave the house to wander, staying at home only on days where it rained.

It wasn't until nearly a month had passed of summer when Hermione first ran into the local bully and his gang. A fat whale of a boy and his followers all nearly the same age as herself. She had been at a park located a few kilometers from her house, resting under a tree as she drew, when the boy had come up to her and started to annoy her.

"Who are you and what are you doing in my park?" She ignored him as best she could, and got up to leave. It hadn't mattered in the end as the boys had ganged up on her and beaten her silly for ignoring them. "You had better remember me, and next time answer when I ask you something."

After that she had stuck to areas that were further away from that park, though on occasion she still walked through that neighborhood in her wanderings. The few times she was found by the gang not enough to keep her from enjoying her summer wanderings on a whole. _'I've been beaten up by worse bullies than they'll ever be.'_

* * *

It was now, as she was boarding the Hogwarts Express for her second year of school, that her happiness began to wane. Armed with a thick sketchbook and a large pack of pencils her parents had given her as a present, she set off hoping that this year would be better than the last. _'Even if it isn't any better this year, there's always the next.'_

She managed to find an empty compartment and sat curled in the corner writing in her sketchbook the whole ride to school, letting out all her fears and worries as had become her custom over the summer. It wasn't until she was sitting in the great hall during the sorting that Hermione felt the loneliness of last year begin to set in.

_'Tomorrow will be a good day.'_

And indeed, tomorrow was a good day, seeing as it was a Saturday and they had no classes. While no one seemed to be friendly with her, no one had been mean either, and she spent the day out wandering on the grounds. Taking the time to draw some sketches of things she found that interested her, Hermione explored her home away from home until curfew, only stopping for dinner.

It wasn't until she tried to go to bed that night that she realized the others in her house still hated her. Her second night back and already she was forced to start sleeping in the common room. Remembering all those months last year that she had slept on the floor because others had charmed the furniture to kick her off it at night, she quickly decided to search for a safer place to sleep.

Every day she spent her free time searching for hidden rooms near the tower where no one would go to find her, coming back to the common room just before curfew every time. It wasn't until the second week of exploring that she ended up being sidetracked from her search.

Marcus Flint, who was now a fourth year student and her own personal bully, had finally caught up to her. At the end of the last year he had started to beat her up instead of just insulting her, and it looked like he wanted to continue where he had left off. The first time she was cornered by him this year, she had ended up in the hospital wing to mend several broken bones.

When asked she had simply said that she had 'fallen down the stairs when they had moved'. It hadn't been a lie either, Flint and his cronies had pushed her down the stairs after beating her up first. "That's what you get for being an uppity mud blood bitch!"

She still hadn't found a safe place to sleep when she had run into Flint for the second time that year. That time they had cast a silencing spell on her first before using some minor painful hexes on her, several of which she were sure had to be dark magic as they were extremely painful. A couple of kicks to the stomach and back as she lay crying on the floor helped them to accentuate their warning.

"If you tell _ANYONE_, next time will be worse." She had a hard time with classes for the next several weeks as she was sure at least one of her ribs were cracked, but was far to scared to go to the nurse and get it healed.

The third time she saw Flint and his gang, she took off running, her ribs still aching from her beating two weeks ago. They managed to corner her in a dead end corridor on the 8th floor, leaving her coughing up blood and barely conscious in their anger and hate. She had ended up laying at the end of the hall for hours before she had gotten up and tried to leave. In her pain she fell against the tapestry covered wall, only to hit a hidden door.

Leaving the exploration for another day when she was less hurt, Hermione made a note of where she was as she set off for the Hospital wing, or at least the nearest teacher. She wouldn't manage to come back that hidden door until after Halloween.

'_If I just smile and ignore them, one day they will stop hurting me.'_

* * *

It wasn't until after the Chamber Of Secrets had been opened that Hermione managed to go back to the 8th floor corridor. Opening the door behind the tapestry, she found a small room with a window facing towards the black lake. It really wasn't more than a large broom closet, just big enough to fit her trunk and mattress if she had to. Not that she had any plans to move in while the Chamber was open, it was far safer in the common room even if she ended up sleeping on the floor again.

That wouldn't stop her from hiding there during the day though. A couple of cleaning charms and a warmth charm she had found last year would make it a perfect place to do her homework, and if she had to a place to sleep if they kept her out of the common room again, though hopefully not.

Other than her new hide away, things continued like normal. Teachers upped their patrols at night and curfew came earlier to keep the students safe. Flint and crew sought her out no less than once a week to beat on her, while the rest of the Slytherins hoped that she would end up the next petrified.

At this point she was mostly ignored by the other houses except for the few who were jealous of her grades, or genuinely hated her. Though her fellow Gryffindors tended to be the worst, many openly bullying her in front of the others. Her roommates were some of the worst, vandalizing her belongings and continuously putting her down and locking her out of the dorm at night.

"You're the only muggle-born in our year, we don't want you luring the monster to us while we're sleeping!" After that she had transfigured a fake trunk to keep in the dorm and had moved her stuff into her private room, afraid that they would destroy it all or keep her from it when she needed something.

* * *

Everyday she would wake up, either on her own or as someone decided to hurt her, and she would force a smile with the thought, _'Today will be a good day.' _She would continue to smile through the threats, and the beatings, and the taunts with the thought _'If I smile, eventually they will have to stop.' _And as she was isolated and hated more every day, she would smile and think, _'I exist, and one day they will all see that.'_

Even at night, as she lay curled against the wall she would cry and wonder why she stayed there, thoughts of her hideaway dancing in her head. _'Because the Chamber has been opened and even though I hate it, here is still safer.'_

Day after day, bruise after bruise, she would smile even as the light in her eyes continued to dim so slowly that no one would notice. Week after week, she would lie to the nurse and do so with a smile, the thought _'If I learn how to heal myself, maybe it will stop hurting so much' _drifting behind her eyes.

Time passed and soon Christmas would be there once more. Finally Hermione knew what the monster from the chamber was. She had been browsing the library on her day off and had begun reading a book about deadly creatures of the wizarding world. She had only been on the B's when she had read the passage about Basilisks, and once she had seen that, knew without a doubt that it was the creature. Taking care to procure a small hand mirror to keep her safe, and writing a letter to the Headmaster letting him know what she had found, Hermione set off to find the nearest Head of House.

The last thing that she saw for a long time was a large, vicious, yellow eye, leaving her petrified right near the library with the letter to the headmaster clutched in her hand.

* * *

'_Nightmares aren't forever, they just feel that way.' _It was the first thought she had once she became aware again, though still petrified she could make out what was happening around her. And if she could Hermione would force herself to smile, because 'at least I'm still alive and one day I'll be cured.'

It took a month before she stopped trying to think. To be aware but unable to move is akin to torture, nothing but thoughts to distract you between visits from people who care for you, unable to even sleep as your body keeps you awake against your will. How much worse is it when no one visits at all? To spend months alone with your own thoughts and not even the nurse will visit except to make sure you haven't died on her?

The only visitor she had gotten had been the teachers as they were given the details, and her note. At least they knew what was happening now, and could work together to destroy it. The night she is freed from her petrification she cries like she has wanted to all those months. She is the only one of the five who had been freed to do so, and when asked why she was the only one besides the ghost who had been aware the whole time. She is the last to return to the school as they keep her for observation, her nightmares worrying to the Madame.

"If your nightmares continue through the summer, contact me via owl and I will help you."

* * *

The night of the leaving feast she is released from Madame Pomfrey's care, spending the night in the common room after having retrieved her trunk from her hideaway. She does not join the celebrations the rest of the Gryffindors partake in as she is fully aware of exactly how alone she really is.

'_One day I will exist to them.'  
_

* * *

**AN: **_How did you like chapter 2? Next chapter will take longer to get out as it will be much longer than this, that and I only have up to Christmas written for 3rd year. After that it gets way more detailed as it becomes a present tense story._

* * *

_I want to thank all of the people who have already reviewed this story._

_**ARtemIs07**_

_**HeartAngel**_

_**alayneni**_

_**ITS ALWAYS THE QUIET ONES**_

_**tefy**_

_**Davek86  
**_

* * *

**229 hits 6 reviews 3 favorites 10 alerts**_**  
**_

_Please Review_


	3. Author's Explanations

First off I want to thank everyone who has reviewed so far, this is literally the most reviews I have ever gotten for a single story. Also I felt the need to elaborate a bit on what's happening and answer a few questions.

Firstly, while my story is very depressing, it is mostly because I am exaggerating my characters emotions a bit, and the first two chapters have been in a past tense feel. This of course leads up through part of 3rd year where it begins to become present tense and we start seeing things from another perspective.

As for Hermione having a crap life and just taking it, I agree that normally that would not happen. But in this point in time no friends and a near-death experience have made her far more passive than she used to be. She may be the best spell caster of her year, but she is still an 11 year old child who has no friends.

The bullies she has, are actually not many at all, and only a set group of people are out to ruin her life, mostly the Slytherins. Those from other houses who do the same thing are usually older students who believe in blood purity, not only Slytherins turn to the Dark Arts after all. The main students, like Harry, Ron, Neville, and others who are mentioned frequently in the books, simply turn a blind eye to what is happening. They may not hate her, but they won't stick up for her either. As for Neville, he made friends with Harry and Ron, and they are busy with things involving the dark lord.

It's actually a lot like the Marauders and their bullying of young Snape. Sirius and James hated him, Pettigrew was a follower and lackey, and Remus turned a blind eye. Only in this instance there is no Lily to come to the rescue, yet.

What happens is pretty much an Open Secret, everyone knows or suspects but the Teachers, and no one does anything to stop it. I've seen things like that in real life too, so it is highly possible.

At this point I'm probably not making too much sense, but what I'm trying to say is that not everyone actually hates her, but they aren't her friend and wouldn't bother to stick up for her. She is still traumatized by the Troll incident and her months of Isolation because of the Basilisk, but eventually will begin to come out of her shell due to outside influences. (Hint: He shows up in book 3)

Once she does begin to come out of her shell things will begin to change for the better as she will begin to get over those experiences. However there will be at least one more large and painful experience that we have to get through before things REALLY begin to change.

Also, keep in mind the quote '_One day I will exist to them.' _it has a large bearing on the future and her actions.

* * *

_**Thanks To:**_

_**Herms Lover **_

_**ValorieJueles **_

**_ITS ALWAYS THE QUIET ONES_**

**_lisiegirl_**

**_deadinside72_**

**_Tu lo sai inc._**

**_Joyce LaKee_**

**_autumnRose88_**

_**tefy **_

_**sonny**_

**_Goddess Virgo of the Fae_**

**_Tween Idol_**

**_ARtemIs07_**

**_sweetgirl23_**

**_alayneni_**

**_Madm05_**

* * *

_**STATS**_

_**3854 words22 reviews786 hits6 favorites24 alerts**_


End file.
